I know the draft is tonight but I feel like its been beaten into the ground.
Same with NBA Trade Rumors... beaten into the ground.
I would like to devise the Perfect Athlete:
Feet- Ronaldinho - watch a youtube clip of him for approximately 8 seconds and you'll see why. His blinding footspeed make world class defenders look stupid.
Runner up: Reggie Bush
Ankles- LaDanian Tomlinson- The way he shifts to elude defenders trace to his ankles. His cut back ability make him the best player in football today
Runner Up:
Legs- Vince Carter- To this day when he elevates there is no one else like it. I still think about to the single greatest dunk performance ever when he dominated the most talented dunk contest field in history.
Runner Up: Jose Reyes
Shoulders- Lebron James- Built like a football player, he attacks the lane like he's hitting a hole. Shaq of the Perimeter
Runner Up: Brandon Jacobs
Hands- Omar Vizquel- It seems like half the plays he makes at short he does without his glove.
Runner Up: Marvin Harrison
Wrists- Roger Federer- When he flicks those wrists, you have no idea what angle he is going for.
Runner Up: Ichiro
Vision- Steve Nash- He sees the game in a different speed then most others. Makes the right passes at the right time to the right people, easier said then done.
Runner Up: Peyton Manning
Drive- Kobe- Has that killer instinct. Hates being denied. "The Assassin"
Runner Up: Roger Clemens, Steve Nash
Head- Peyton Manning- Disects complicated NFL defenses better then anyone in history
Runner Up: Mariano Rivera
Arms- Dwight Howard- This man is huge. He looked this way out of high school, crazy.
Runner Up: David Boston
Breasts- Phil Mickelson- see blog comments from the last 2 weeks
Runner Up: Serena Williams
Leadership- Tom Brady- Everyone falls in line behind him.
Runner Up: Ray Lewis
Heart- Allen Iverson- Pound for pound the toughest, takes more hits then anybody
Runner Up- Derek Jeter
Clutch- This is a good one. I'm not sure who defines clutch in sports anymore now that MJ is gone. Tiger hits all the big putts, Jeter seems to always come through, Brady wins the big one if he can get there, Vinateri hits the big field goals... Cassell, Horry
AND NOW FOR THE ANTI PERFECT ATHLETE:
Head- Armando Benitez- seems like every October he blows saves Orioles, Mets, etc
Runner Up: Mike Vanderjagt
Arm- My boy Chad Pennington cannot laser a throw past 20 yards if his life depended on it
Runner up: Jonny Damon
Legs- Jorge Posada- the next stand up triple he gets in his long career will be his first, I'm surprised he has not grounded into more triple plays
Runner Up: Prince Fielder
Drive- Tim Thomas- this guy plays for two months every season and cashes in on a new contract
Runner Up: Randy Moss (I hope Im wrong)
Knees- anyone besides Amare who has had microfracture surgery
Leadership- Ron Artest- I'm not sure any player in the NBA would follow Ron Ron's lead, but I'd still want him on my team
Runner Up: Isiah Thomas, Danny Ainge, Kevin McHale, Billy Knight and every other idiot NBA GM
Hair- Chris Kaman, Drew Gooden (tie)... both of these guys are disturbing to look at
Physique- Eddy Curry- Yes he's talented, and yes he's fat
Runner Up: Phil Mickelson (the only man to grace both lists)
Shoulders- Peyton Manning- check out the SNL when he has his shirt off, very surprising
Runner Up: Greg Maddux
Honesty- Mark McGuire, Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, Floyd Landis, Brett Boone, Guellermo Mota-har
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9 comments:
Ankles? Really?
Gonna have to throw Urlacher in their for shoulders pal, at least as runner-up.
Tyson would be #1 for breasts but we all know he's not an athlete.
You can also add Lidge, Wohlers, and Ankiel in their anti-head (haha, anti-head). Those guys have never been the same.
"Runner Up: Phil Mickelson (the only man to grace both lists)"
See Below:
"Head- Peyton Manning- Disects complicated NFL defenses better then anyone in history"
"Shoulders- Peyton Manning- check out the SNL when he has his shirt off, very surprising"
Oops.
OH HOLLA! Thanks for the shout out Bocker and Katzo...I'm dancing up a storm right now in celebration (picture titties floppin' everywhere!).
i nominate myself for worst breasts. did anybody see me in playboy? i looked more out of place with my tan lines and tic tac boobs than katzo at a mensa meeting.
i nominate myself for best rash.
I nominate myself for anti-athlete under honesty....
Where do you think Landis go the idea for the steroids....he was just dumb enough to get caught!!
How does Bonds not get best wrists? Perhaps Pujols...
I'll take the little dick award. At least that's what Plaxico and Toomer have told me in the locker room.
Nice one Doug
And i nominate myself for best fur. You could make a beanie outta my ear hair, a sweater out of my pubes/ass region and a pair of pants outta my chest hair!
Anyone wanna place an order?
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