Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Blinded by the light?

With Eli Manning's recent engagement to one of the more beautiful women on this planet, it really got me thinking...what is going through these broad's heads?

Obviously when it comes to professional athlete's, particuarly the starting QB for the NY Giants, money, fame, and power all come to mind. But what about the really ugly, nasty, disgusting looking athletes that a) aren't even out of college yet, or b) aren't even that famous or wealthy or even have a chance of becoming these things. Now I'm not saying Eli is one of these athlete's (although he's not exactly Leo Dicaprio)

http://boards.giants.com/forums/1/236512/ShowThread.aspx

But you can't tell me that this girl (far left):

http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=2423

Is physically attracted to him. Call me shallow, call me insenstive (seriously, call me these things, I f*cking dare you) but you could not convince me in a million years that the following athletes are getting ass for their looks and personality.

Disclaimer, the following can get quite hideous so I recommend having a strong stomach before moving forward. Also, most of these cases cannot be 100% confirmed, but I, personally, have seen some of these athletes with women, and I have also heard stories from people close to others having laides all over them. So without further ado, the ugliest of the ugly...

Let's begin with one of the more recenlty famous ugo's to date, Charlie Villenueva.

http://www.vtams.biz/nfanimg/players/charlie%20villanueva2.jpg

Now I actually went to school with this guy and saw him at bars, parties, etc. With a different girl almost every time. This is not to say that UConn girls are difficult to get with (they're not) or that all of them are extrememly hot (it's hit or miss). But the girls I would see him with were girls that any drunk (or semi-sober) college guy would love to hook-up with.

So this begs the question, why? Did Charlie spit such incredible game and have a fascinating intellectual conversation in which this chick was so impressed with his mind that he swept her off his feet? Doubtful. Did a girl who genuinely did not know who he was turn around, see him, do a double take and almost faint because of how attractive he was? I find that hard to believe. No, Charlie was a guaranteed first rounder out of high school, girls know this, see him and something like this goes through there head, "OMG! That's Charlie over there, hopefully I can hook up with him, he can get me pregnant and I would be set for life!" (Can't say I blame them).

Another, perhaps more recent and relevant name:

http://www.gatorgallery.com/albums/albun39/Image10.jpg

Joakim Noah. Yikes. Seriously. Wow.

Another guanteed lottery pick after this season. This guy, unlike Chaz V. has hair, but in his case, that's not necessarily a good thing. I did not go to school with him, but one of our bloggers went to high school with him and has friends who hang out with him and I have stories. One of the more recent ones he has told me was that his buddy, Joakim, and Corey Brewer (Florida's point guard) were all hanging out at a club and the girls were literally THROWING themselves at them. Do they not have any shame? Plus, I can only imagine the tail this guy pulls going to UF. To put that in perspective, one of our reader's mom went there (I think we all know who I'm talking about).

Again, both of these examples, include fame and fortune (especially with Noah because his entire family already had money, his dad is a French tennis player who used to be on the ATP tour and his mom is the former Miss Sweden (wow, can you imagine). But what about the following guys who, again, I went to school with and know girls personally who have opened up for them, physically of course.

When I was a sophomore in college, I was friends with a girl who got with Talik Brown on numerous occasions. For those of you who might forget what he looks like, he is the one on the far left:

http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/1119092878053741123wIPLar

http://groups.msn.com/UCONNHUSKIESBASKETBALL/mens20012002roster.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=115

Now he had no shot of going to the NBA, he came from a not-so-wealthy family, and already had TWO kids. So again, why? Because he played basketball? Because you could say to your friends and family, "Yeah, I hooked up with Talik Brown." I don't get it. Oh yeah, Johnnie Selvie as well:

http://groups.msn.com/UCONNHUSKIESBASKETBALL/mens20012002roster.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=107

Who? You ask. Yeah. Exactly.

Of course, Josh Boone is a classic example. I had another friend at school who thought, and I quote, "He's sooo cute." ARE YA CRAZY? Or just literally blind.

http://www.nbadraft.net/profiles/joshboone.asp

I also would see him out and about with one or two attractive laides by his side. Don't get it.

Here are some other examples of less than stellar looking athlete's who, without a doubt, don't exactly have a difficult time getting laid or have amazingly beautiful wifes:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,242770,00.html (Although he gave her her's)

http://membres.lycos.fr/jujoseph/Sam_Cassell_smiles.jpg

http://www.chriskamanonline.org/images/Chris_Kaman_Picture%20(9).jpg

http://www.starpulse.com/Athletes/Johnson,_Randy/gallery/1109707/

You might say I'm bitter, you might say I have nothing else to write about today and this is a total stretch, or you might just say I'm crazy, all of which may or may not be true. Either way, I do not want to hear from girls that fame and fortune do not matter to them, it is BS. Do I wish I was a Division 1 basketball or football player? Sometimes. But luckily for me, even though I'm not a famous athlete, my looks alone will carry me to the promise land.

Quick Hits -

Everyone has been bitching lately for us post the amazing finish to the D-II Championship game last weekend, here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WzmQmz9Kdc

Here is something you may not have seen though, also regarding the star in the above link (Barton College seems FANtastic):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkMwRV5Dffs&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edeadspin%2Ecom%2F%3FrefId%3D246998

Win a major, Jackass:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wX6VQ0KJJo&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edeadspin%2Ecom%2F%3FrefId%3D246998

If you haven't seen the United Way skit Peyton pulled on SNL this Saturday you are missing out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZpPf-q2_es

Sorry UNC Fans:

http://deadspin.com/sports/college-basketball/fun-with-misprinted-t+shirts-247024.php

In case you missed Rasheed's amazing 60 footer last night to send the game into overtime:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l_S_0GG4pI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edeadspin%2Ecom%2F

10 comments:

JWS said...

Yeah, along the same lines... what about those former high school baseball state champions who wear their state championship rings at the casino and girls just flock to them??

It's just not fair

downey said...

if i were a chick (i wake up every day thankful im not), i would marry eli just to get closer to peyton...he's so dreamy.

katz, im getting the vibe u struck out with diana taurasi and have yet to come to grips with it.

IceCold said...

I'm not sure if he struck out with Taurasi, but he definitely struc out with a different Dian-HA...oH!!

KatzoRelaxo said...

She broke my heart...

But seriously, you bring up an interesting point. She could probably be listed on here from a female point of view.

http://www.senatedems.ct.gov/sn/gal-sn/williams-gal/Williams-photo-020417.html

Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike said...

I once tried to hook up with Rebecca Lobo. All I ever wanted to be growing up was the kept man of a WNBA superstar. Rebe-Lo (my pet nickname for her) told me my cock needed to be 12 inches long to pleasure her. With that said, I tucked cock and walked away in shame. But not before I gave her Ev Boyle's phone number.

Anonymous said...

Your posting of Taurasi answers your entire blog.

Tell me you wouldn't do her.

KatzoRelaxo said...

Fair point...

...but only in this position:

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncw/ncaatourney03/story?id=1536068

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