Rules to Live By

With our upcoming fantasy draft, I'd like to expose the guidelines that have led to my fantasy football success and others that I will soon incorporate

1.) Trade an up and coming young stud running back (Gore)
2.) Keep a QB who will play 4 games for you totaling a 77.0 QB rating
3.) Draft Clinton Portis and expect him to play all 16 games
4.) Draft Marion Barber expecting him to score 16 touchdowns again
5.) Keep BJ Ryan... hahahaha
6.) Keep Reggie Bush over Chad Johnson
7.) Expect big years from Kitna and Eli
8.) Not notice that both Randy Moss and TO left practice with hamstring injuries
9.) Draft a player with your first pick that then retires (Tiki)
10.) Keep the most injury prone guys ever (Portis and Smith- Zhong)
11.) Draft Nate Burleson in the 5th round (2005)
12.) Not to call someone out, but look at these consecutive picks in rounds 4-8 from two years ago
Aaron Brooks, Deshawn Foster, Mushin, Ashley Lelie.... yikes
13.) Not to forget about Drew Brees injury from the Pro Bowl
14.) To remember there is one good tight end in the entire NFL for fantasy purposes
15.) To consider who would be more boring to draft, Big Ben or Hassleback
16.) To guess the comeback player of the year Randy Moss, Edge or Culpepper
17.) Did anyone else forget Kyle Boller was alive?
18.) To not forget Cadillac's last season was merely a fluke
19.) To take seriously Kitna's prediction of 10 wins
20.) To take seriously the chances of the Pats running the table... until they run into the Jets in week 1
21.) I know its obvious... but Wayne will be overtaking Harrison this year
22.) In an interesting Page 2 article they predicted the 50 most likely players to make the Hall of Fame.... on the list Leinart, Adrian Peterson, Tatupu... I understand that they wanted to make some bold predictions... but really???

Others:
-If you switch cities do you automatically have to adopt all their sports teams? Garnett and Allen
-Garnett wearing #5 seems weird to me
-I hate the Celtics, but God do I love KG... look at the numbs, he has been the most impressive player statistically of the past decade
-Some guy on the FAN today said the Mets decided to improve 2b with getting Castillo to replace Gotay but the Yankees decided to stand pat with Phillips and not get someone better... what?! Did he forget about Doug M. almost being back and Giambi (i know mostly DH but still) on the comeback trail also... nice comparison douche
-Kevin Maas, Shane Spencer, Shelley Duncan????!!!
-Ways to forget Curtin:
1.) Not invite him to Vegas/San Diego
2.) Not invite him to Ice Cold's brthday pregame
3.) Not invite him to Pizza Hut buffet
4.) Not invite him to purchase Madden 2_ _ _ on opening day
5.) Not invite him to collect all the valuables hidden in the couch from hours of sitting
6.) Not invite him to see the X-men Premier
7.) Not invite him to a facial hair growing contest
8.) Not invite him to a fantasy discussion about Weeks or Biggio
9.) Not invite him to a Boston bandwagon discussion
10.) Not invite him to a let's drink a lot of hard alcohol and get loud session