Enough is enough

I am officially retiring from NCAA pools (not really), but boy are my panties in a bunch.

It happens every year, guaranteed. I was in two pools this year. Each of which ended with the winners and second place finisher either being girls or someone completely random making picks with their eyes closed. This year, the winner of my big pool was someones sister, and second place went to another girl who I went to high school with. Even the third place finisher had the last name Swan, gimme a break. In my office pool, the first place finisher was someone named Qbert (old Nintendo video game which I loved, but if you are labeling your NCAA pools that now, you work in IT, get laid once a year, and certainly don't know jack about college bball) and second place was yet another girl.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining that I'm not winning, I'm used to losing, it happens all the time, it's one of the things I'm best at. However, I am complaining about the fact that the winners are the ones who pick their games like so, "Oh, I like their colors", "My friend went to school there!", "Their mascot is so funny, they will go far" or, if you read my last post, "Yeah, their power forward banged the shit out of me, he can definitely lead them to the final four". It's like playing the lottery, there is obviously no skill involved.

I can hear some of my critics saying, Katzo, this year's tournament was one of the easiest one's to pick in the past 15 years. You can expect people who don't follow college basketball regularly to do well because they don't think about potential upsets and will just pick the best/most popular teams.

Fair point. However, when you take into consideration last years tourney which was upset city. Had Florida winning the whole thing (as a #3 I believe) and one of the final four slots was represented by George Mason. GEORGE MASON!?! (Yes I'm still bitter). Yet, the first place finisher in my pool last year, girl. Second place finisher, girl. Explain that to me.

Again, I don't mind that I'm not winning. I do mind that the winner comes in the form of non-fans who get lucky. Yes, obviously there is a lot luck involved in any sort of gambling pool, especially when there are 65 teams involved. But one would think there would be an advantage for someone who follows college basketball all season. There is not.

Quick hitters:

• Florida is probably a pretty fun school to be a part of right now. My sister is probably pulling her hair out as we speak (current FSU student). Jeremy Foley (UF's athletic director) deserves a raise, a statue, and probably a sacrificial lamb ceremony. This guy has done such a tremendous job with the athletic program at this school. Not only did he steal Urban Meyer right under Notre Dame's nose, I have a feeling Billy Donovan is not going anywhere (Sorry Kentucky) and will end up as one of the all-time coaching greats, probably already is. Repeat NCAA D-I Basketball National Champs and NCAA D-I Football Champs. Congratulations Gators.

• Before the tourney started, you could have easily made a case for Kevin Durant going #1 overall in the upcoming NBA draft. After the show Greg Oden put on in the Final Four, I find it impossible to pass this guy up. Wow. As impressive a college player I've seen. Side note, I would not be at all surprised to see Durant stay at UT, ESPECIALLY after Oden's domination over the past couple of days. I'm not saying I agree with it, but apparently the kid's got a 3.5 GPA and absolutely loves college. Plus, if Oden leaves and he stays healthy, he is the guaranteed #1 overall pick next year.

• I will, for the rest of my life, be skeptical of people who come from Albany...

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2816356

• ...unless they invented this:

http://www.jsonline.com/site/photographerphotos/slideshow.aspx?PhotoID=6209&fileType=JPG&Source=Thumbnail&catid=500&PageNumber=0

• Braves (1-0): Nice come-from-behind win on the road against a division rival. New bullpen looked great. People need to stop hating on Edgar Renteria (game-tying solo HR in the top of the 8th, game-winning two run blast in the top of the 10th). He is still one of the league's top shortstops as long as he is out of the spotlight and not in a big city.

One last thing, I know a lot of you enjoyed my post last week regarding ugly athletes and their constant anonymous, unprotected, sexual adventures. I'd just like to give a shout out to T-Bone aka Rogor aka Prehistoric Retard for helping me come up with the idea.

One Shining Moment

Well, let's just say I had a post with full predictions for the Final 4 all set to go on Friday but I never got around to posting it up. And to make it worse, all of my predictions were dead wrong. I went on and on about Georgetown's offense and UCLA's perimeter play. Well Georgetown's offense was alright, but the point guard play of Mike Conley was terrific. I know that Greg Oden's simply being on the floor is so important to the Buckeyes, but does anyone doubt that Conley is the MVP of this team. He creates so many open looks for his teammates and most importantly, he always seems to be the one with the ball when the shot clock is winding down and a play needs to be made. I'd love to see him stick around for another year or two and finally escape Oden's shadow. By the way, if Oden spread his legs on that dunk attempt when Green tried to take that charge, I think we would have seen VC over Fred Weis II. He makes about 5-10 plays every game that makes me turn to whoever's next to me and say, he's the #1 pick without a doubt.

The Gators looked great. I didn't think that their perimeter guys would be able to handle UCLA's pressure as well as they did. For the first 10 minutes or so, it seemed like they were adjusting. Then Brewer made a couple big 3s and forced UCLA to stretch the defense a little bit opening up the inside for Noah, Horford, and Richard. If Florida's guards perform like that tonight, I can't see them losing.

As for my prediction, I'm rooting for The Ohio State University, but I can't see them beating Florida after the way they played on Saturday. I think Florida is just the better team with the better coach. Then again, I do think Ohio St will have the 2 best players on the floor, but then Florida has numbers 3-7. I think Ohio St. should try and go big to keep Oden from having to contend with Noah and Horford by himself and limit him from foul trouble. Oden should stay away from Noah when on defense as he can be very active on offensive end and might lead to cheap fouls for the big man. Oden should guard Richard whenever he's in the game so that he can concentrate on coming over on the weakside whenever Noah and Horford make a move toward the basket.

Florida needs to continue to shoot well from the perimeter. As long Humphrey, Green and Brewer are knocking down shots, they're close to unbeatable. This strategy is contrary what many coaches usually teach about attacking inside first to open up the outside shots, but with a team like Florida with 2 of the top 5 big men in America, teams will consistently double down and sag to help. By hitting a couple of deep shots early, OSU will be forced to stretch it's defense and leave Oden by himself under the basket as a one man help. This can work against teams with only one big man, but with a team that has Horford and Noah, its a recipe for disaster.

Prediction: Fla. 81 OSU 74

And I can't wait for One Shining Moment. For anyone who loves college basketball or even anyone that has a soul, this has to be the best part of the college basketball year. I'm a huge geek about it and I actually got a tape with every single One Shining Moment from when it started back I believe in 1985 until 2005. Then I proceeded to record last year's to the tape and fully plan on doing it again this year. And once again, yes I'm a geek.

I despise Alex Rodriguez.

Starbury!

Before the game, James took a little shot at Marbury's $14.98 kicks, saying he couldn't imagine endorsing a sneaker that cheap.

"No, I don't think so," James said. "Me being with Nike, we hold our standards high."

Marbury, who is friendly with James, was lacing up his Starburys before the game when informed of LeBron's comment. He thought about it for a moment and said, "I'd rather own than be owned."

Anyone who loves the NBA should really read TrueHoop... great comparison between MJ and Kobe today by Tex Winter

A-Rod's Revenge

This will be my last post before the Cards and Mets open up the season on Sunday so I figure a predictions column is appropriate

I just wrote for 20 minutes going through the division but I got bored by my own column so I'm going to start over

In no particular order I will go through my thoughts on this upcoming season

Arod will respond like the great ones do. This is his make or break season in NY, between his contract options and his relationship with the Media and Fans. I foresee MVP like numbers from him, I think he answers the critics, answers his post season demons and finally wins a title

I think the Tigers magic runs out and the Twins win that division going away. Morneau and Mauer will only get better, and there is no reason to believe that Santana will slow down. If only Liriano wasn't out for the year, this would be a no brainer.

Mike Piazza makes Billy Beane look good and hits and hits all season long. Without having to crouch behind the plate, he adds depth to that A's lineup and hits 30 HR's +

I see the Mets struggling this year. I'm not saying they won't make the playoffs, but they rolled over the National League a year ago. Alou and Green are guarantees to spend time on the DL. Their pitching could not be more fragile right now then it already is. El Duque cannot be expected to pitch a full season. I expect Pedro to comeback earlier then expected. My trustee colleague says August at the earliest, I'm going to with right around the All Star break.

How bout Bonds??? He's had a good spring, he has to be immune to steroids talk by now. I think he'll get his record and retire at season's end. Giants are going nowhere, and if he does not retire, he will not play for a different team next year.

Dice-K will be the real deal and I'm interested to see where he goes in this Friday's fantasy draft. We know those Boston guys are going to jump on him early.

AL MVP:
Vernon Wells (sleeper pick Vlad-i know not a real sleeper, but he barely gets mentioned anymore)

AL CY Young: (sleeper pick Dice-K)
Santana

NL MVP: (sleeper pick Jose Reyes)
Soriano

NL Cy Young: (sleeper pick Ben Sheets)
Zambrano

I almost went with the double-double Wells-Halladay, Soriano-Zambrano... but since four #1's still can't make it to the Final Four, i can't boldly predict a double-double

I dont know if they are considered rookies (one def is), but Delmon Young and Alex Gordon will make splashes in their first full seasons

Can anyone else still not get over Gil Meche getting $55 million dollars?!?!?!?

Will King Felix finally get it? I dont know but until he does I think we should reserve that nickname for King James over in Cleveland.

Speaking of the King... check out the new house he is building http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/basketball/nba/03/27/bc.bkn.lebron.shouse.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

NCAA:
Florida over UCLA
Georgetown over OSU

Florida repeats!

Better backdoor offense Georgetown or Union? Give me those Dutchmen
Who do I want taking the last shot... Lewis or Afflalo.... I'm taking Lewis
Running my team... Give me Conley over Collison
Coaching my team... In this order... Donovan, Howland, JT3, Motta (no disrespect to any of the 4 here)
Best game remaining... OSU-GTOWN

Did I mention UNC cost me $1000???


KNICKS ARE DEAD IN THE WATER, I WILL NOT MENTION THEM IN ANY POST UNTIL THIS SEASON IS OVER (unless they make the playoffs)

Waaay Jose!

I can honestly say that this might be the weirdest spring training that I have ever had as a Mets fan. The Mets dominated the entire National League the entire season, only to lose to a team in the playoffs that won a total of 83 games in the regular season. Overall, the season was a great success and they are bringing back every main piece from the team that was one game away from the World Series. I should be very excited about this, but I'm not.

There are about six guys on the Mets roster who should be (prolly are) collecting Social Security. I admit that joke is corny, but all I am saying is that the Mets are old. It really sucks. I'm sorry, but I am not excited for Tom Glavine and Orlando Hernandez to be the first two pitchers in the rotation. I honestly think that Julio Franco is Jose Reyes' dad (back in the day Franco could run). The guy is close to 50. Besides that, they got Moises Alou, Jose Valentin and Shawn Green. While I have not seen much of Alou yet, he is 40 years old and was considered injury prone when he was 30. Valentine and Green looked so washed up last October that it forced me to keep recycling my Dads' old joke that my Grandmother could swing harder than that.

Basically the age thing bothers me, especially when the Mets have 21 year old Lasting Milledge ready to step in and see if he can play everyday. The other major thing that bothers me is the pitching staff. Basically on paper it sucks and is injury riddled (Riddle me this...You have two coins that make up 30 cents and one is not a nickel..). Anyway, since I distracted you I might as well segway away from my negativity and hate. The Mets may have the best 3-4-5 hitters in baseball and have a tremendously young and talented left side of the infield. They have a bunch of talent in the minors both pitching-wise and in the outfield. What I am consumed with though is two words...Jose Reyes (disclaimer: I am about to ride a 23 year old mans nuts not only because he is a Met but because he is my keeper in fantasy baseball).

Reyes may be the most physically gifted player in all of baseball. First of all he is not a small guy. He is 6'1" and 200 lbs. He may be the fastest player in the game and has a rocket for an arm that he seems to unleash with just a flick of the wrist. He has average power, which seems to only be increasing as he gets older. He is a switch hitter and is gradually improving his plate discipline. Last season his walks jumped to 53 from 27 in 2005. Did I mention he is only 23 years old?

Reyes will bat leadoff in the Mets line-up which is perfect since he has such great speed. As I said, his plate dicipline is improving which will help him as a lead-off hitter through getting on base more. While Spring Training does not mean much, he has 10 steals, four homers, eight walks and only four strikeouts so far. While that is a small sample, considering how well he played last season and his age (23 ladies and gentlemen), it is not crazy to think he could perform at somewhere close to that level. Look at his stats from last season, watch him play a couple games and tell me if you think a .320 AVG .390 OBP 25 HRs and 75 SBs is out of the question. He is a guy that fills up the stat sheet. In that line-up he will score over 120 runs easy. In addition, he is in the conversation for best defensive shortstop in baseball. He has tremendous range, has cut down on the routine errors that plagued him early in his career and throw absolute peas (or pee if you prefer) to first.

When I turn on a Mets game, no matter what the time in the season or the situation in the game I am always excited by one thing, Jose Reyes. I want to see what he will do next. It is a great position to be in for a fan. So with all the positives and negatives on the Mets at this point, as long as Reyes is guarding shortstop I am happy. I believe that he is the most important player on the Mets and that his numbers will put him up in the top three in MVP. Obviously MVPs are often given in a subjective manner, but for a player of his style to even be in the discussion shows his true uniqueness and potential greatness.

Derek Jeter

I am a big time Mets fan, but over the years I have developed an admiration for Derek Jeter. While some of my fellow Met fans find this repulsive, I can't help it. I do not like it, but it is just how I feel. With that being said, I have to address something that has been bothering me for a long time. The fact that Derek Jeter has won three straight Gold Gloves is flat out ridiculous. As a defensive shortstop, Jeter is the best at fielding pop-ups, has his "signature" play deep in the hole and makes the routine look effortless. In the same breath though, his range on groundballs are so bad that grounders in the hole that oher shortstops get in front of, Jeter makes his jump throw and balls up the middle, Jeter consistently does not reach. Do I think Jeter is a good defensive shortstop? Yes. Is he the best in the American League? No. Off the top of my head I will put Orlando Cabrera of the Anaheim Angels and Alex Gonzalez then of the Boston Red Sox over Jeter for the 2006 Gold Glove.

Range form a shortstop is something that I grew up watching more than others. Unfortunately when I was 13, the Mets had a rookie shortstop at the same time that Jeter was playing his rookie year in the Bronx. That Mets SS was named Rey Ordonez. While Ordonez could never hit his way out of a paper bag (and to this day I am embarred by saying he would be a better player eventually than Jeter), he was a flat-out amazing fielder. When I say this, I mean it as watching someone play on an EVERY DAY BASIS, but I have never anyone play a better shortstop. In his prime, (three straight Gold Gloves) which did not last long because he couldn't hit and got injured, he had more range than anyone I have ever seen. He would get to balls on the 2nd baseman side of 2nd base and still get to the balls deep in the hole. In addition, he once had an errorless streak of over 90 games and had four total errors in 1999. My point is, I took it all for granted. In 2000 he got injured and the Mets traded for Mike Bordick to play short. He was a solid defensive player, but no Ordonez. Every game basically I would find myself getting pissed because a ball got through the infield that Ordonez would usually scoop up. Range is something you do not notice until you suddenly gain or lose it. While Jeter is a fantastic ball player and a good defensive SS, I promise you his range is not that of others.

Oh, and its no coincidence that his Gold Glove years came when AROD went to short because AROD was a much better defensive shortstop and ARODs' range at third has helped Jeters' performance at SS as well.

Sangia

Lastly, I just want to make my case for Sangia to be kicked off of American Idol. He sucks sucks sucks as a singer and is so dumb when he talks. He looks like a douchebag and sounds like a six year old girl. I think its fair to say that Sangia has a Mangina. Anyway, he forgot his words this week and if he is not voted off then you know something is up.

Ozzie

I am sure Ozzie Smith was better and his highlight reels are sick, but I never got to watch him on a daily basis as I did with Ordonez. If I did, then I may feel just as strong or stronger about him.

Lastly...

I only brought up Jeter because I thought of him when I mentioned Reyes as one of the best defensive shortstops in the game today. I am by no means trying to compare Jeter and Reyes (yet) and recognize that Jeter is a Hall of Famer and Reyes is still in just the very early years of his career. Did I mention Reyes is 23 (Jeter is 32).

STKAFI

Why oh why??

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2814649

Lebron and Jimmy Kimmel are going to co-host the Espys this year. I know the Espys are a joke to begin with and its really no big deal, but why would you get an athlete to ever host an award show. In addition, why an athlete who has shown almost no off the court charisma? Why not a Shaquille O'Neal or Chad Johnson. This is going to be so horrendous that it might actually be funny. Actually, never mind it is going to be unwatchable. I would call whomever came up with this idea a retard, but that would be an insult to allmentally challanged people. Whatever happened to the days when the Espys were actualy decent and Jimmy V gave one of the greatest speeches of all time?

Athletes I would rather see host, but not really since a host should actually be a good comedian by him/herself:
1. Shaq
2. Chad Johnson
3. Ron Artest
4. David Ortiz
5. Derek jeter

feel free to add others....

STKAFI

Blinded by the light?

With Eli Manning's recent engagement to one of the more beautiful women on this planet, it really got me thinking...what is going through these broad's heads?

Obviously when it comes to professional athlete's, particuarly the starting QB for the NY Giants, money, fame, and power all come to mind. But what about the really ugly, nasty, disgusting looking athletes that a) aren't even out of college yet, or b) aren't even that famous or wealthy or even have a chance of becoming these things. Now I'm not saying Eli is one of these athlete's (although he's not exactly Leo Dicaprio)

http://boards.giants.com/forums/1/236512/ShowThread.aspx

But you can't tell me that this girl (far left):

http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=2423

Is physically attracted to him. Call me shallow, call me insenstive (seriously, call me these things, I f*cking dare you) but you could not convince me in a million years that the following athletes are getting ass for their looks and personality.

Disclaimer, the following can get quite hideous so I recommend having a strong stomach before moving forward. Also, most of these cases cannot be 100% confirmed, but I, personally, have seen some of these athletes with women, and I have also heard stories from people close to others having laides all over them. So without further ado, the ugliest of the ugly...

Let's begin with one of the more recenlty famous ugo's to date, Charlie Villenueva.

http://www.vtams.biz/nfanimg/players/charlie%20villanueva2.jpg

Now I actually went to school with this guy and saw him at bars, parties, etc. With a different girl almost every time. This is not to say that UConn girls are difficult to get with (they're not) or that all of them are extrememly hot (it's hit or miss). But the girls I would see him with were girls that any drunk (or semi-sober) college guy would love to hook-up with.

So this begs the question, why? Did Charlie spit such incredible game and have a fascinating intellectual conversation in which this chick was so impressed with his mind that he swept her off his feet? Doubtful. Did a girl who genuinely did not know who he was turn around, see him, do a double take and almost faint because of how attractive he was? I find that hard to believe. No, Charlie was a guaranteed first rounder out of high school, girls know this, see him and something like this goes through there head, "OMG! That's Charlie over there, hopefully I can hook up with him, he can get me pregnant and I would be set for life!" (Can't say I blame them).

Another, perhaps more recent and relevant name:

http://www.gatorgallery.com/albums/albun39/Image10.jpg

Joakim Noah. Yikes. Seriously. Wow.

Another guanteed lottery pick after this season. This guy, unlike Chaz V. has hair, but in his case, that's not necessarily a good thing. I did not go to school with him, but one of our bloggers went to high school with him and has friends who hang out with him and I have stories. One of the more recent ones he has told me was that his buddy, Joakim, and Corey Brewer (Florida's point guard) were all hanging out at a club and the girls were literally THROWING themselves at them. Do they not have any shame? Plus, I can only imagine the tail this guy pulls going to UF. To put that in perspective, one of our reader's mom went there (I think we all know who I'm talking about).

Again, both of these examples, include fame and fortune (especially with Noah because his entire family already had money, his dad is a French tennis player who used to be on the ATP tour and his mom is the former Miss Sweden (wow, can you imagine). But what about the following guys who, again, I went to school with and know girls personally who have opened up for them, physically of course.

When I was a sophomore in college, I was friends with a girl who got with Talik Brown on numerous occasions. For those of you who might forget what he looks like, he is the one on the far left:

http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/1119092878053741123wIPLar

http://groups.msn.com/UCONNHUSKIESBASKETBALL/mens20012002roster.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=115

Now he had no shot of going to the NBA, he came from a not-so-wealthy family, and already had TWO kids. So again, why? Because he played basketball? Because you could say to your friends and family, "Yeah, I hooked up with Talik Brown." I don't get it. Oh yeah, Johnnie Selvie as well:

http://groups.msn.com/UCONNHUSKIESBASKETBALL/mens20012002roster.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=107

Who? You ask. Yeah. Exactly.

Of course, Josh Boone is a classic example. I had another friend at school who thought, and I quote, "He's sooo cute." ARE YA CRAZY? Or just literally blind.

http://www.nbadraft.net/profiles/joshboone.asp

I also would see him out and about with one or two attractive laides by his side. Don't get it.

Here are some other examples of less than stellar looking athlete's who, without a doubt, don't exactly have a difficult time getting laid or have amazingly beautiful wifes:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,242770,00.html (Although he gave her her's)

http://membres.lycos.fr/jujoseph/Sam_Cassell_smiles.jpg

http://www.chriskamanonline.org/images/Chris_Kaman_Picture%20(9).jpg

http://www.starpulse.com/Athletes/Johnson,_Randy/gallery/1109707/

You might say I'm bitter, you might say I have nothing else to write about today and this is a total stretch, or you might just say I'm crazy, all of which may or may not be true. Either way, I do not want to hear from girls that fame and fortune do not matter to them, it is BS. Do I wish I was a Division 1 basketball or football player? Sometimes. But luckily for me, even though I'm not a famous athlete, my looks alone will carry me to the promise land.

Quick Hits -

Everyone has been bitching lately for us post the amazing finish to the D-II Championship game last weekend, here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WzmQmz9Kdc

Here is something you may not have seen though, also regarding the star in the above link (Barton College seems FANtastic):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkMwRV5Dffs&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edeadspin%2Ecom%2F%3FrefId%3D246998

Win a major, Jackass:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wX6VQ0KJJo&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edeadspin%2Ecom%2F%3FrefId%3D246998

If you haven't seen the United Way skit Peyton pulled on SNL this Saturday you are missing out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZpPf-q2_es

Sorry UNC Fans:

http://deadspin.com/sports/college-basketball/fun-with-misprinted-t+shirts-247024.php

In case you missed Rasheed's amazing 60 footer last night to send the game into overtime:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l_S_0GG4pI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edeadspin%2Ecom%2F